Unfortunately, tasawwuf is rather controversial amongst Muslims, especially in the West.
Usually, it’s a easy to keep the fact that you are in a Sufi order a secret. Just don’t tell people. People might figure out you have a certain affinity, but being in a Sufi order is really another matter.
But at some point, you have to say it… that’s right. You don’t want to kees this a secret from your spouse. So when a prospective spouse/rishta/khateeb comes along, you kinda want to fish around on his/her possible opinion. You slowly dig… you ask questions like:
- What do you think of the scholar so-and-so (insert well known scholar here)
- Do you follow a madhab?
- Do you follow a group of scholars? If so, who?
- Group dhikr- yay or nay?
But eventually you’ll come across that person who really doesn’t offer much. Repeating “well, I’m religious, it’s my life” doesn’t really offer much.
I could never marry someone who does not practice tasawwuf, much less someone who is anti-Sufi. How do you mention to someone who is practically a stranger “oh by by the way… I’m in a Sufi order…”
Any thoughts? 
