When I say not getting angry, I am not just referring to throwing things of having tantrums, but even small things like ‘venting’ simply for the sake of it, cursing, or just being in that state of anger. For many people this is hard. In the West we are accustomed with the idea of “it’s my party, I’ll cry if I want to” and “letting off steam”. In our society, we are told to let out our ‘feelings’. While I am all for spiritual and mental health, I think there are other ways then venting/yelling, etc..
I think I’m getting a handle on this not getting angry thing. Granted I have not exactly reached a state of inner tranquility, but I feel myself moving, alhamdulillah. What do you folks do to control your anger? One thing I do is simply remind myself that just because something feels bad does not mean it is bad. Imam Ghazali, in his Deliverence from Error he likens this to medicine a doctor gives to his patient. Although medicine is often distasteful, the patient does not stop the administration of the medication simply for the taste nor even questions the doctor about the remedy!
Anyways, that is all for now, I just wanted to blog about that. More to come God-willing.
Anony Sufi
Irving Karchmar Said:
on July 5, 2006 at 9:40 pm
An old Sufi tradition advises us not to speak until our whords have passed through four gates. It is true, is it necessary, is it beneficial, is it kind. If the answer to any of these is no, then the words should be left unsaid.
Of course, it is harder in everyday life
But I have found that is never really a good reason for anger. It is our own impatience and nafs that trigger the quckest emotional response. It get it off one’s chest, but it really doesn’t feel good. I always feel guilty afterward. Ah what a long way to go, what a long path this is. Alhamdulillah!
Ya Haqq!
Abdur Rahman Said:
on July 10, 2006 at 6:54 pm
As salaamu alaikum,
I once went to a dars in which the shaykh mentioned that inappropriate anger is sin of secret sin, as if your own soul gets upset with you when you fall from grace.
Ya Allah! Not getting angry is tough
Ma’as salama,
Abdur Rahman
juhah Said:
on August 1, 2006 at 9:26 am
From Imam Nawawi’s Wird: I take refuge in Allah from the evil of my nafs and the evil of others.
kevin Said:
on August 24, 2006 at 11:25 am
Dear Anony,
These sayings have always helped me:
In a speech about constancy or steadfastness (estaqamat), Dr. Javad Nurbakhsh says, “If someone treats you badly, apologize to him. If someone irritates you, be thankful. If affliction visits you, consider it a cure.”
Or in the words of Rumi: “Be the ball, not the bat!”
Ya Haqq!
ummabdullah Said:
on June 27, 2007 at 1:12 am
Our beloved Prophet saw taught us that when you are angry, seek refuge in Allah. Say “Audhobillah ….” till the end.
He also taught us that you can make wudu. Because anger is from shaitan and shaitan is made of fire. And wudu takes out that fire.
Stick to the sunnah my dear sister, and consider it higher than the most pious shuyookh. I just found it interesting that none of the comments mentioned what the Messenger of Allah himself taught, but the statements of our pious shuyookh. Why?
I mean those are great anecdotes, so please don’t get me wrong, but shouldnt we mention what the Prophet saw taught us FIRST?
Brooke Said:
on July 8, 2009 at 10:07 pm
That is the stupidist shit ive ever read in my life fuck u faggot
salika Said:
on July 10, 2009 at 11:22 am
Jazakallah khairan for all the beautiful words you all have said.
I see Brooke is playing the devils advocate, though I hope not literally
Robert Said:
on September 16, 2009 at 6:29 pm
I am deeply troubled with my inability to control my anger. I feel I am becoming my father who was always angry. I want to be the happy, easy to get along with person that people enjoy being around. I see people who look like nothing gets them angry and wonder how they do it. It seems as though things just wash over them and the cause of possible anger has no effect. I wish I could respond to these events as gracefully as others it seems I can not. How do you deal with these events without the ugly head of anger popping up??
wandereringstar Said:
on October 26, 2009 at 12:39 am
I think Brooke is hurting somewhere nearer to her heart. May she find comfort in love and understanding in the truth she is seeking