As we know as has been related in hadiths, the most beloved good deed to Allah are consistent ones, though small. Alhamdulillah I am becoming consistent in my wird now and now that I know it is not as big as a task as I had initially thought, I actually quite enjoy it now and look forward to it.
My state right now is somewhat neutral. There are highs and lows when it comes to my state with Allah. Sometimes I'm on a spiritual high and sometimes I feel like the worst Muslim to walk this earth. The thing about the states though is that I never knew how to react to them in the past. With the highs I felt like I wanted to read a whole bunch of Qur'an, do 5 wirds, wake up for tahajjud every day and so forth but then I feared I would wear myself out and it would be a passing state. In the lows, I didn't know how to get up. Now that I have a spiritual teacher, I can figure how to manage my state and remain consistent and strong.
May Allah make us amongst the awliya!
